It was my friend Troy’s birthday last week, so we went and did what everyone should do on their birthday. We went to celebrate, not crazy partying, thankfully I cannot function as well as I used to with lack of sleep. We went to Aroma Shisha in Croydon and we sat and ate and I watched as my friends had a little Shisha, whilst I contemplated life. You see I was feeling quite blessed even though it wasn’t my birthday, like everything was just beginning again, like I’ve had a chance to do it all again.

Do you ever feel like a new person? A new human being who has a lot of things still to experience even when you get older. Growing up is a progressive process that never ends, we are always growing older and learning new things. My latest challenge has to be my relationship. Now do not get me wrong I have been in relationships before but every relationship in your life is different, I mean you don’t love your mum the same way you love your partner, well I don’t anyway.  Love is a funny thing; it makes me laugh now when I think that I used to believe I was ready for a relationship when I was younger. You know that optimism that everything is the fairytale and it’s easy. However, I received a few buckets of ice cold water in my face, not literally but metaphorically speaking with some bad relationships, lets just say I had a lot of learning to do.

What have I learnt along my journeys, well that depends on which journey we are speaking about, but overall I know myself better now and I have learnt a few things about myself.

  • If a man cheats on you there are 2 reasons (in my case it seems) that could be deduced from it, he’s just a cheat or he genuinely made a mistake, unfortunately it’s usually the former but in that case you have the power to leave.
  • Never let a man put his hands on you, someone who could snap and seriously hurt you or damage your body cannot love you. When you love someone in my eyes you want to protect them and support them not destroy them
  • If a man says he doesn’t want a relationship yet, then it means he probably doesn’t want a relationship or he just doesn’t want one with you. Either which way just find someone who is ready for a commitment because sometimes this is just an excuse to get what they want and disappear.

That surmises my main points that I have learnt over the years but I know there are other rules that other women may offer. Remember I have been through all 3 of these experiences and learnt the hard way. What about now you ask? Well now is my biggest challenge, the relationship which is going well, sounds amazing right? Except I have started to do that thing where I question why it’s going so well??? In an ideal world everything will be perfect! but like Rodney always reminds me relationships are not what we see in the media, they’re not that Disney film. Those perfect relationships do not exist instead there is a reality that you can still have a beautiful experience without the word fairytale. To keep it going there is only one piece of advice I currently am using for myself, a relationship is like a fire. If you do not fuel it, it will go out, if you don’t stoke it, it will go out and if you pay no attention to it, then it will definitely go out. If you love someone then work on it, be optimistic and do not let your flame burn out. I’m learning with Rodney still and so far so good but I know there will be times where it will not be easy. That’s the thing but the best things though, it will not be easy but like they always say you appreciate more.

Enjoy your week X